[ Wow, it would be really useful right now to have a quirk that just... caused the earth to open up and swallow him. Hitoshi can feel Nisaka staring at him, and it just makes him more determined not to meet his eye. He hadn't been planning on saying it like this, or... maybe at all. ]
I... sorry.
[ He picks agitatedly at a loose thread in the hem of his still-backwards t-shirt. His brows knit, his shoulders raise a little, and if he looks like he's preparing himself for this to go extremely badly then that's because he is. He's been telling himself for ages that this will pass eventually. That all it'll do is make things awkward between them. Hitoshi treasures his friends more than he'll say - he went long enough without any - and now... ]
[ nisaka takes a moment to card through all of his wildest fantasies. it sort of amazes him he's never once dreamed up this moment, an actual confession. perhaps even his brain was too cautious, too guarded to be that hopeful. now that it's actually happening, he really doesn't know how to respond.
honestly? a part of him wants to laugh. not at hitoshi, of course. but just at the absurdity of this all... he doesn't, of course, because he has enough forethought to realize that wouldn't go over so well.
so instead he just dips his face back into his hands, rubs at his eyes, his reddening cheeks. this is so stupid. this is so stupid. ]
Kaminari isn't as good at reading people as you think he is...
[ deep breath, take the plunge. why the hell not? ]
[ That finally draws Hitoshi's eyes, wide and startled as they are.
The fact is that actually, Kaminari is better at reading people than Hitoshi thought he was - because he's been trying to say this for ages. Occasionally even recruiting Sero in an effort to convince him. And with all of that, Hitoshi probably should have at least one or twice entertained the possibility that things would go like this. That he'd end up staring stupidly at the object of genuinely the most persistent crush of his life, trying to make his brain work again long enough that it'll tell him what he's supposed to say.
Suddenly he's right back in that moment of being told in front of the entire first year Heroics class that he'd be joining them come second year. His heart is in his throat, fighting his immediate instinct to disbelieve that anything good could actually happen to him.
[ it's a bit strange, to be on this end. nisaka never once imagined he'd have to be reassuring anybody, let alone hitoshi, of his feelings. in all his realistic scenarios, it had been a desperate attempt to backtrack and reassure the other party that it changed nothing.
he's not sure how or why, but somehow hitoshi's blatant disbelief emboldens him. as if he could just say all he could ever want to say, and not have to harbor that fear of repercussion anymore.
so he does. ]
Last night, when you were passed out... I helped you off the stairs and back into your room. You knocked me over into the bed, and I got stuck until you rolled over in your sleep.
[ his cheeks warm just thinking about it, but there's really no going back now. ]
The reason I didn't tell you about it was because I'd liked it too much...
Hitoshi's fingers only make it halfway through his hair this time, as he does his level best to remember any of this. There are... flashes. He remembers someone there, he remembers not wanting to move. But nothing about anyone being in his bed. It makes sense, if he was really passed out at that point, but it's still frustrating.
Not for the first time, and probably not for the last either, he tells himself he's not drinking with the Bakusquad again. ]
... That... really isn't how I wanted that to go...
[ miraculously, the courage nisaka had found himself with as a result of that immense relief hasn't yet left him. he's still there, for one thing, and he hasn't yet shriveled up in embarrassment over being quite so bold.
in fact...
well. he thinks he has just a little bit left in him to ask: ]
[ He hasn't really given himself a chance to think about things like that, because until this moment it had been such an impossibility. But at the very least... ]
Would've been nice to remember it at least...
[ A breath of humorless laughter - god, he's so annoyed with himself. When he looks up at Nisaka again, he tries to make himself not try to imagine what it must have been like. To touch him so easily like that, not in any kind of suggestive way but just the simple act of sleeping with the smaller boy in his arms. It's... not easy. ]
... Honestly, I probably wasn't going to tell you at all.
[ it's so easy to admit to it all now. what's done is done, and they can only move forward from here. if hitoshi hasn't turned away from him yet then... well. maybe there's some hope to this all after all.
at the very least, it doesn't seem like he'll be losing a friend. but that's what's most important here, anyway. all the hiding, all the resisting. it was all to preserve what they had.
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[ Wow, it would be really useful right now to have a quirk that just... caused the earth to open up and swallow him. Hitoshi can feel Nisaka staring at him, and it just makes him more determined not to meet his eye. He hadn't been planning on saying it like this, or... maybe at all. ]
I... sorry.
[ He picks agitatedly at a loose thread in the hem of his still-backwards t-shirt. His brows knit, his shoulders raise a little, and if he looks like he's preparing himself for this to go extremely badly then that's because he is. He's been telling himself for ages that this will pass eventually. That all it'll do is make things awkward between them. Hitoshi treasures his friends more than he'll say - he went long enough without any - and now... ]
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honestly? a part of him wants to laugh. not at hitoshi, of course. but just at the absurdity of this all... he doesn't, of course, because he has enough forethought to realize that wouldn't go over so well.
so instead he just dips his face back into his hands, rubs at his eyes, his reddening cheeks. this is so stupid. this is so stupid. ]
Kaminari isn't as good at reading people as you think he is...
[ deep breath, take the plunge. why the hell not? ]
Because I like you too.
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The fact is that actually, Kaminari is better at reading people than Hitoshi thought he was - because he's been trying to say this for ages. Occasionally even recruiting Sero in an effort to convince him. And with all of that, Hitoshi probably should have at least one or twice entertained the possibility that things would go like this. That he'd end up staring stupidly at the object of genuinely the most persistent crush of his life, trying to make his brain work again long enough that it'll tell him what he's supposed to say.
Suddenly he's right back in that moment of being told in front of the entire first year Heroics class that he'd be joining them come second year. His heart is in his throat, fighting his immediate instinct to disbelieve that anything good could actually happen to him.
Can he possibly deserve it a second time? ]
Wh- ... But you... I thought...
[ ShinsouHitoshi.exe has stopped working. ]
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he's not sure how or why, but somehow hitoshi's blatant disbelief emboldens him. as if he could just say all he could ever want to say, and not have to harbor that fear of repercussion anymore.
so he does. ]
Last night, when you were passed out... I helped you off the stairs and back into your room. You knocked me over into the bed, and I got stuck until you rolled over in your sleep.
[ his cheeks warm just thinking about it, but there's really no going back now. ]
The reason I didn't tell you about it was because I'd liked it too much...
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[ This... this is a lot.
Hitoshi's fingers only make it halfway through his hair this time, as he does his level best to remember any of this. There are... flashes. He remembers someone there, he remembers not wanting to move. But nothing about anyone being in his bed. It makes sense, if he was really passed out at that point, but it's still frustrating.
Not for the first time, and probably not for the last either, he tells himself he's not drinking with the Bakusquad again. ]
... That... really isn't how I wanted that to go...
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in fact...
well. he thinks he has just a little bit left in him to ask: ]
...How did you want it to go?
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[ He hasn't really given himself a chance to think about things like that, because until this moment it had been such an impossibility. But at the very least... ]
Would've been nice to remember it at least...
[ A breath of humorless laughter - god, he's so annoyed with himself. When he looks up at Nisaka again, he tries to make himself not try to imagine what it must have been like. To touch him so easily like that, not in any kind of suggestive way but just the simple act of sleeping with the smaller boy in his arms. It's... not easy. ]
... Honestly, I probably wasn't going to tell you at all.
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[ it's so easy to admit to it all now. what's done is done, and they can only move forward from here. if hitoshi hasn't turned away from him yet then... well. maybe there's some hope to this all after all.
at the very least, it doesn't seem like he'll be losing a friend. but that's what's most important here, anyway. all the hiding, all the resisting. it was all to preserve what they had.
he shrugs. ]
Now what?
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He's never gotten this far in thinking about it. He's done his level best not to think about it at all, if he can help it. ]
I... I don't know.
[ It sounds so ridiculous, but he doesn't know what else to say. ]
... Will you come sit down, at least?